Lost Memories
by TheVampireLestat
Summary: Why is Cloud so .. cold? The story of his past has been told, but never this deep .. he remembers someone he hasn't in a long time, and wonders if it's all worth it. Warning: bring some kleenex. :) I cried while writing it. Definatly my best work up to da


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Lost Memories

A Final Fantasy VII fan-fiction

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"Promise that you'll never leave me." 

Nineteen-year-old Cloud lifted a hand, brushing it across the angel's cheek from where she lie beneath him. "I love you too much to let go. I promise." He leaned down, allowing his lips to brush against hers.

She reached a hand upward, running her fingers down the length of his bare spine, making him shiver. "Then why--"

He silenced her with a finger laid across her lips. "I'll be back. This is just a short mission that Sephiroth is on." A wry smile flickered across his features. "Just stay here in Nibelheim until I get back. We shouldn't be long."

"Good." She smiled upward at him, her hand sliding behind his neck to draw him closer once more and kiss him firmly. "But tonight is ours."

"Cloud? Wake up."

".. uh? What time is it?" Cloud opened his eyes groggily, sitting up halfway, glancing over to where Tifa was just leaving the room. The door shut -- she evidently didn't hear him.

He sighed, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head, shaking off the last feelings of sleepiness. Now why ..

The dream.

That's why he felt so odd this morning. God, why couldn't he let that go .. it had been four years now. Ignoring the familiar pain beginning to ache in his throat, he continued on to his closet, rifling through all his clothes until he found an old t-shirt and a pair of jeans that looked about ready to be trashed. Today was a day to lounge around -- he had nothing planned to do. 

As he got dressed, his mind numbly drifted back to the dream.

It had been four years ago, just before Sephiroth burned his home town to the ground. That was their last night together before .. 

A dull throb ached in his throat, and a single tear fell down his cheek.

.. she had died. 

But that wasn't the reason the dream had seemed so odd .. it was because it was so real, so unlike a dream; Gods, he could still taste her in his mouth.

The door parted, and his eyes flickered upward to look at the entrant. Tifa, again. "Cloud, are--"

"Yeah," he interrupted irritably, gaze snapping up and face returning neutral, as always. Cold. Just the way he wanted it; he never wanted to get close to someone ever again. The pain was excruciating.

But, then again, so was the look on Tifa's face. "Alright, you don't have to be so moody," she mumbled in return. Though, before she left, she studied his face carefully. "Have you been crying? What's the matter?"

The response almost came naturally to him. "None of your business. I'll be out in a minute." 

She only shrugged, gave him a final, lingering glance, and left.

Cloud allowed himself a wry smirk. He knew he was being a jerk, but he couldn't admit to anyone what he felt. Not anymore. Sitting down on his bed, he rested both elbows on his knees, running his fingers through his hair. Although Tifa was his only friend left, he couldn't admit that he liked her for more than what she would ever believe. Last time ..

"No," he mumbled, shaking his head. But, even as he protested, memories came flooding back ..

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"Surprise." 

"Oh! Cloud, you scared me!" She twisted enough in her seat to allow herself to look upon the one who had his arms wrapped 'round her neck from behind. 

Cloud grinned -- that cute, boyish, fiendish grin she was so fond of. "Sorry, babe, but it was so tempting."

Amy giggled, squirming out from under his grasp. "You can be **such** an ass sometimes, Cloud."

He only offered a wry grin. "Aw, go suck on it."

She punched him lazily in the arm, not hard enough to disturb a fly. "Make it bare, big guy."

Cloud arched a brow. "Is that an offer?"

She laughed. "You wish."

Cloud smiled faintly, plopping down in the chair she had abandoned. "Pity. I **was** going to ask you to go on a date with me tonight, but since you're so adamantly against any kind of relationship, well .."

Amy smirked, sitting down on his lap comfortably and reclining against his chest. "And what if I said yes?"

Cloud shifted his weight slightly to accommodate hers better. "Does it ever occur to you that you **are** heavier than you think?" He joked, then proceeded to get serious again: "Then I guess I'd have to ask you out," he drawled, smiling faintly. "So, will you go out with me?"

She leaned downward to kiss him on the lips -- the first they ever shared. "Of course."

Cloud started, flicking his gaze up and around the room. "Damn, I have got to stop doin' this," he grumbled to himself, rising and walking out the door to meet the others for breakfast.

Barrett, Cid, and Tifa were there this morning -- Cait Sith, Yuffie, Vincent, and Red XIII were gone, most likely off on some errand or another. Good. Less to deal with this morning. He nodded to those that were here, seating himself at the table without further ado.

"Lookin' a bit fucked over this mornin', eh," Cid smirked, taking in a long draught of the cigarette he held and blowing the smoke away. "You look pretty damn awful."

"No kidding," Cloud grumbled in reply, turning away his head distastefully as the smoke from the cigarette encircled his head. "Ain't it too early to smoke, Cid?"

"Never too early for that."

Tifa brought over a platter piled high with pancakes. "Dig in guys. And Cid, what did I tell you about smoking in the house? Get that thing out of here before you kill us all .." 

Cloud shut his mind from the sound of Tifa scolding Cid, concentrating solely on his breakfast, finishing it off mechanically. "I'm gonna be in my room for awhile, I'll see you guys later."

Without any further words, he rose and walked into his room, ignoring the eyes he felt boring into his back. Let them try to figure it out. Who cared.

After he entered, he flopped back onto the bed, sprawling out across the surface. Something hard bored into his back -- probably a clothes hanger -- but he didn't move. That pain dominated the fierce pain gnawing away in his heart. "Amy .. God, I wish you were back here with me .."

"Cloud?"

He felt his heart skip a beat. That voice .. that soft, beautiful voice. 

"Amy?"

He sat upright to face the girl he had remembered from those few years ago .. and even after these four years, she still held the key to his heart. "Are you …"

She smiled, brushing her thin chestnut hair off her shoulders. "… real? Yes." She sat next to him, taking his hand in hears and twining their fingers together. "You said you wanted me here with you, and I was never one to keep anything from you." 

He squeezed her fingers lightly. They were warm, and met his with firm resistance. He looked up into her eyes quizzically. "How ..?"

"Sssh." She placed a finger over his lips. "I can't stay here long -- but I plan to make the most of what I have. God has granted us one last time to be together, and I'm not going to waste it." She leaned forward and kissed him passionately. 

With a muted groan of pleasure in his throat, he pulled her closer to him, only pulling apart long enough to whisper huskily to her; "I thought I'd never see you again .."

Her only reply was to pull him to her again, wrapping her arms 'round his neck as his hands found the strings that tied the thin dress she wore to her body.

A while later, they still lay together, his strong arms wrapped 'round her waist and holding her close to him. They stayed that way for awhile until he finally felt her stir, and he loosened his grip. "Is .. something the matter?"

She rose, quietly getting dressed. "Cloud .. I have to go now."

He felt as if he had been stabbed. "Amy …. you can't just leave me here .. alone."

She smiled sadly, sitting down once more beside him and resting her hand on his chest. "You won't be alone. You have your friends .. and Tifa."

His bright azure eyes bored into her emerald ones. "Tifa means nothing to me. Neither do they." He took her hand in his, clutching it imploringly. "Take me with you, Amy."

She offered another smile. "It's not as easy as that, Cloud. For one thing, it's not your time to die. For another, you have others who love you here. Take the time to know them. You might be surprised."

Twin tears trickled down both his cheeks. "I can't stand this anymore, Amy. I love you .. even after all this time, I love you so much .."

Amy smiled warmly, leaning down 'til they were mere inches apart. "I know." She released his hand. "Look."

He glanced downward at his left hand, which had a golden ring glowing 'round the third finger. He looked up at her, eyes betraying his confusion. "What?"

She brushed his cheek lovingly. "Our souls are wedded, Cloud, and so they will always be. But find happiness in this world -- you are still young. Just remember that I will always and forever be here waiting for you."

He leaned over to kiss her, but .. she was gone. The room was empty, and the only sign of her presence having been there was the heat he still felt in his stomach. 

He lay there still for the longest time, silent tears falling from his cheeks. Why .. why does this all have to happen to him? With a sigh of regret, he finally rose, getting back dressed and returning to the door and opening it. 

Tifa was the only one left, and she was still cleaning up after breakfast. He walked over to where she was, and silently began helping her put things away. She looked over at him, working steadily and silently, and arched a brow. "Cloud?"

He glanced her way, and suddenly felt the weight of the world come crashing back down upon him. The familiar dull pain spread through him like wildfire, and silent tears threaded down his cheeks for the third time that day. "Tifa, I .."

She looked at him, shocked, and walked over to wrap her arms around him and hug him comfortingly. They stood like that for a long time, her head resting on his shoulder as he finally let go of all the emotions pent up for so many years.

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Copyrights:Final Fantasy and characters Cloud, Sephiroth, Tifa, Red XIII, Cid, Vincent, Yuffie, Barrett and Cait Sith © Squaresoft

Amy © me

Disclaimer:I do not own the majority of these characters, but the storyline is © me. Please do not reproduce without consulting me first. J Free for distribution without profit.

Any last words?Yeah. Can I go home now?

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End file.
